she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
