I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
