Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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