god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
