i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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