who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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