Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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