Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
