BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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