I cannot find my penis.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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