I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
