Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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