Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
