I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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