Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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