I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize