I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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