just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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