If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
