I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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