So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize