He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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