bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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