dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
