Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You took a bar mat shot.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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