Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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