he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
