So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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