yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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