Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
