dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
