handjob tips. give me some.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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