So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
