Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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