So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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