just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
