Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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