This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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