Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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