My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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