; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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