I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
