70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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