Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
there is puke in my bra ... again
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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