i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
