Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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