I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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