fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
