dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
