Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What a fucking waste of an outfit
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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