Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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