my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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