Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
