apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
