I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
