I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
