pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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