Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
