I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
