I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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