totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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