what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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